Is this real life?

Traveling and living abroad you encounter a lot of strange, humorous…and sometimes awkward (nouns). This is a collection of some funny things I have had said to me or have seen through my travels.  Enjoy.

India

Best Advertising I have ever scene:

Indian’s say the darnest things:

• “No problem, anything is possible” -Beautiful Indian hospitality anywhere you go in the country.
• TukTukDriver: “Ello, tuktuk?….PLEASE give me chance to ripe you off” -2pts for being honest?
• Street Vendor:”Excuses me, hey! I know you.” Me:”Nope, no ya don’t.” SV:”Yes, yes we met last night!” Me:”Nope.” SV:”Yes, madam, in my dreams…excuse me, ello!”
• Typical street vendor in Jaipur: “Hello, madam…pants, you need pants… very cheap, only 300Rupees…..okay okay 200 Rupees, okay madam very cheap, I give you good price, 150Rupees.”-You don’t have to say a word…they seem to just bargain with themselves.
• “Rupee” or “Money”… your name to all gypsy children.
• Street Vendor:”Madam, other 2 customers I don’t give good price, but you…. you 3rd…gooood woman, you 3rd customer today. That means sun goddess, good karma, so I give you good price.”

South Korea  Horrible/Weird/Random English words on Korean Clothing and what they say to waygookers. Please note, my spelling is not a mistake on my part, I put it here how I see it.

• “SOMETHING HAPPENING” written on a black tee for women
• “leave the boy alone” written on a tee shirt, worn by a man
•  On the front- picture with a girl and her hand own the front of her pants……..on the back “Do it yourself” worn by a male…of course
• “Chiacgo ain’t no sissy town” written on a velvet shirt
• “have a great day smiley face new yoork” on a jean butt pocket on a MILF
• This is a name of a coffee shop “Hot Dog n Coffee”
• I have no idea what is in this store….”Broccoli Accessory”
• “Judy Moody gets famous” on a lil girl’s shirt
• “French Girlish Mood” on a women’s shirt
• “Milk 86” on sweat shorts (instead of University 1987…its MILK 86?)
• “Six on the Beach” on a bro tank, worn by a bro (I think the phrase they were looking for is sEx on the beach…..yeaaah)
• “Stussy” written on the butt of a 2yr old boy
• “Fucking Freezin” on a 5th Grader’s jacket with the Canadian flag next to it.

Koreans say the darkest things….

• “Is it real?” A drunk Korean girl asked while cupping my face…. yes, yes my face is real.
• “Teacher, you pig nose” Child yelled at me then ran away…..thank you for bringing back my childhood nightmares kid! haha
• Me:”How are you today class?” 4th Grader:”Teacher, drunk, I drunk.” Excuse me?… found out he meant tired? huh.
• “Precious Point” Korean referring to a a man’s junk
• 6thGrader 1: “ahh how much is it?” *points at other students ‘precious point’ 6thGrader 2: “oh, 1 million won” 6ht Grader 1: “I will take it” *grabs kids junk….wtf!
• Me: “Okay class, you just broke up with our girlfriend, what can you say?” 8thGrader: “Teacher…oh shit”
• 4thGrader: “Ahhh sorry teecha.” *slapes himself in the face after I had stopped class and starred at him to be quite.  Kids are self disciplined here.